RazzReport.com

Here I am. Sitting in Dirt. Again.

I'm Happy Now, but I won't Be Come Bath Time.

Sometimes, I decide the best place for me to sit is right in dirt so I can instantly get filthy.  This way, I require a bath every single week.  I like baths because then I can run around like a maniac and rub my body against anything that has the slightest ability to absorb water.  Or not. I’m happy to rub myself against the walls too I guess.

To really solidify the bath this weekend, I also rolled around in a berry bush today and got purple stains all over my paws.  I pranced in to show David and he loved it just as much as I expected.  He exclaimed, “LOOK AT YOU! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO MAKE YOURSELF PURPLE!”  Which, obviously, is a sign of a job well done.

I award myself a gold star for today.

Hi-

Just stopping by to mention that this week I start my second level of agility training.  I SHOULD have been in agility two already - but my ridiculous owner failed to sign me up before the class was full last session.  Luckily he’s been working with me at home in the time off so I’ll be ready.  Still, as a punishment for the oversight I’ve decided to remove everything in his closet and put it in the bedroom.  Of course it’s his fault for leaving it open, right?

I’ve decided as of late that other dogs aren’t so scary and maybe I should meet them.  All of them.  And their owners.  Of course, why wouldn’t they want to meet me?  I’m a border collie of course.  Earlier in the week I decided to sniff a dog who proceeded to show his teeth, growl and bark in my face.  How ridiculous.  I wagged my tail and smiled at that dog.  Then I greeted the owner.

Of course, I’m still prone to hiding under the bed when David cooks popcorn.  And who wouldn’t, what good could come of that scary popping sound?  Certainly not those yellow puffs that magically appear after the sound stops.  No, those I’m happy to try and eat.

Ok I’m off

Yes, you are lucky I can't dress you up.

This is officially as close as you will ever get me to look like Mr.Winkle. TRUST ME.  Story here is David decided to shrink one of his sweater’s down to Razz size.  And, once it was Razz size, he declared, “Razz shall wear this!”  Great.  Just what I want.  The look above is pure sarcasm if you can’t tell.  I hate this.

It’s been a few months since my last posting.  The big news of the day is I completed my first level of agility training!  I loved it and I was really pretty good at it.  It was actually a little scary at first.  There was a big tube that I swear I saw dogs go into and NEVER come out of.  And, after I noticed this, David on cue says “Hey Razz! Go ahead! Go on in!”  Then he’s surprised when I’m skeptical about the whole situation.

In other news, David has recently started feeding me in the bedroom in the morning and in the sun room in the afternoon.  I cleverly noticed that to accomplish this, he’s able to MOVE my food bowl with seemingly no effort from room to room.

Curious.

Tonight I tried it myself.  Guess what. It works.  It works SO well that I decided to walk around with my food bowl proudly all night.  I went to surprise David of the discovery, but the surprise was ruined when I bumped my way into the living room and he heard me coming.  The problem there being I’ve only figured out how to hold the food bowl in such  a way that it covers my face and eyes.  He wasn’t as excited as I’d anticipated.  Not sure why.

razz

Razz Slalom

As it turns out, I love snow.  I love to run in it. I love to eat it. I love to bury my head into it. I love everything about it.  You can see how much in the photo above.  Over the last month it seems there has been endless snow.  At one point it was so deep you could barely see my head as I sloshed around in it.  I realized the only way to navigate through it was to hop like a bunny. Look:

Then David realized that he could confuse me by throwing me snowballs that I’d endlessly search for in the snow.  A bit cruel if you ask me, but I liked burying me head into the snow just the same. Here I am:

I hope more snow comes soon!

I’m writing today to report the completion of my second obedience class.  Above is a photo of me with my game face on immediately prior to winning the class obedience challenge.  It was a relay race that I was able to complete in blazing fast 34 seconds.  Well.  It actually would have been about 25 seconds but I spent some time goofing around at the last stage of the course…hopefully video of that will be posted soon.

I should be starting my third obedience class in January - but better yet I will also be starting my first agility class as well.  This despite the fact that David calls me the clumsiest border collie he’s ever seen.  I’m actually tired of hearing it.  I can’t walk into an occasional table without the big eye roll and, “my god you are the clumsiest border collie of all time!”  Or I can’t try and drag a my dog bed across the floor and trip over my own paws absent a sarcastic, “Really? Dogs trip over their own paws?”  AND THEN I’ll eat one of his ties and he’ll get all huffy and wonder why I did it.

He’s threatening to post a video of me getting a bath.  INSIDE. In a BATHTUB.  I was and am not pleased.

razz

Hello everyone!  The last time I wrote was the end of July and it’s been quite busy.  I thought I’d finally post an update.

The biggest update is probably that I’ve managed to destroy close to every stuffed toy I’ve come in contact with.  If it’s got a squeeker or stuffing, it’s destroyed.  I’ve got an elephant here with no legs.  I’ve got a blue lobster with rope legs that is now…well just rope legs.  I’ve got a frog that can no longer hop and…well I don’t even know what THAT was but it had green fluff inside.

Oh I also went to and excelled in Dog Obedience 1.  I got straight As on my final exam.  I then went to another training school that decided I should retake their dog obedience 1.  At first I huffed and puffed and mouthed but quickly learned their dog obedience 1 is no joke.  I’m 8 weeks into that class, but now am able to sit, stay, down, up, stand, stand stay, heel, halt, sit for exam, place, circle left/right, and recall.  And, while I’m pretty good at these things some weeks, other weeks I just prefer to lay on my side and eat rocks off the ground just to drive David totally crazy.  Works every time too.

At home I’ve gotten two new rugs thanks to some guy named Rob that David works with.  He keeps coming home saying “Welp, Rob lost another, looks like your getting another rug!”  I love the rugs.  Usually I look like a Bugs Bunny cartoon trying to run on the hardwood floors…my legs are moving 100mph but I just stay in one spot until I shoot across the floor.  You can see in the photo above I blend right into the rug like a chameleon.  Sometimes David says it’s so good he can’t see me and to keep hiding.

I’ve started to play a new game in the morning at about 5:30am.  It’s a great game, I jump up on the bed and position my face about 2 inches from David’s face.  Then I just stare.  I’m pretty sure if I stare long enough and hard enough I can make him open his eyes.  And when he does, he gets two giant eyes with big bat ears staring him in the face.  He usually gets all grumpy and pouts about it and burys his face in a pillow…but nothing I can’t burrow my snout underneath.  Then I wag my tail and jump around the bed until he gets out of it.  He pretends he’s all grumpy but I know it’s good for him.  I mean, really, if you’re going to sleep in past 5:30am why get up at all?

Lately we’ve had a lot of rain and I must say I absolutely hate it.  It makes my coat all wet and heavy.  I hope it stops soon.  When it rains I normally show my displeasure by goose-stepping all over the house.  And rolling around in things I’m not supposed to.

Alright I’m off to bed!  I will try to update everyone more frequently!

-razz

David took me to Wylie Wagg’s last week where he bought me a new toy! He got me all excited about it, made me do tricks to get it, and then when he opened the box…realized it was empty. Yes, he managed to buy an empty display box. Yet he mocks me when I accidentally kick my tennis ball under the couch a few times in a row. I mean, how hard is it to pick up a box and realize there’s nothing in it?

Luckily the kind folks at Wylie Wagg’s were able to give me the ACTUAL toy. It’s a little box that you can hide squeeky balls inside of…he says I should practice tearing the insides out of this toy rather than the stuffed animals. I think it’s my favorite toy of all time.

I think this video proves that Charlotte is responsible for the destruction of the stuffed animals. You’ll see I’m sitting nicely in the bed as Charlotte pulls me halfway across the floor.

razz

Today I went to Waldorf to meet David’s parents. They took me up to a room with this strange little cage. Inside of it chirped a cute little bird. At first I was scared of it. Then, I wanted to eat it. Lucky for that little bird his wire bars saved him. Next time little bird.

From a boy dog?! Sigh. No.

Today I was fascinated at the delivery of a large box of flowers. I wagged my tail and chased David around as he opened the box. I was fixated on me. He kept muttering something about my gender under his breath, but I didn’t quite understand. I thought they might be from a boy dog but it turns out they weren’t for me at all. Oh well. I still liked looking at them.