RazzReport.com

Hello everyone!  The last time I wrote was the end of July and it’s been quite busy.  I thought I’d finally post an update.

The biggest update is probably that I’ve managed to destroy close to every stuffed toy I’ve come in contact with.  If it’s got a squeeker or stuffing, it’s destroyed.  I’ve got an elephant here with no legs.  I’ve got a blue lobster with rope legs that is now…well just rope legs.  I’ve got a frog that can no longer hop and…well I don’t even know what THAT was but it had green fluff inside.

Oh I also went to and excelled in Dog Obedience 1.  I got straight As on my final exam.  I then went to another training school that decided I should retake their dog obedience 1.  At first I huffed and puffed and mouthed but quickly learned their dog obedience 1 is no joke.  I’m 8 weeks into that class, but now am able to sit, stay, down, up, stand, stand stay, heel, halt, sit for exam, place, circle left/right, and recall.  And, while I’m pretty good at these things some weeks, other weeks I just prefer to lay on my side and eat rocks off the ground just to drive David totally crazy.  Works every time too.

At home I’ve gotten two new rugs thanks to some guy named Rob that David works with.  He keeps coming home saying “Welp, Rob lost another, looks like your getting another rug!”  I love the rugs.  Usually I look like a Bugs Bunny cartoon trying to run on the hardwood floors…my legs are moving 100mph but I just stay in one spot until I shoot across the floor.  You can see in the photo above I blend right into the rug like a chameleon.  Sometimes David says it’s so good he can’t see me and to keep hiding.

I’ve started to play a new game in the morning at about 5:30am.  It’s a great game, I jump up on the bed and position my face about 2 inches from David’s face.  Then I just stare.  I’m pretty sure if I stare long enough and hard enough I can make him open his eyes.  And when he does, he gets two giant eyes with big bat ears staring him in the face.  He usually gets all grumpy and pouts about it and burys his face in a pillow…but nothing I can’t burrow my snout underneath.  Then I wag my tail and jump around the bed until he gets out of it.  He pretends he’s all grumpy but I know it’s good for him.  I mean, really, if you’re going to sleep in past 5:30am why get up at all?

Lately we’ve had a lot of rain and I must say I absolutely hate it.  It makes my coat all wet and heavy.  I hope it stops soon.  When it rains I normally show my displeasure by goose-stepping all over the house.  And rolling around in things I’m not supposed to.

Alright I’m off to bed!  I will try to update everyone more frequently!

-razz

I think this video proves that Charlotte is responsible for the destruction of the stuffed animals. You’ll see I’m sitting nicely in the bed as Charlotte pulls me halfway across the floor.

razz

Today I went to Waldorf to meet David’s parents. They took me up to a room with this strange little cage. Inside of it chirped a cute little bird. At first I was scared of it. Then, I wanted to eat it. Lucky for that little bird his wire bars saved him. Next time little bird.

Today I was fascinated at the delivery of a large box of flowers. I wagged my tail and chased David around as he opened the box. I was fixated on me. He kept muttering something about my gender under his breath, but I didn’t quite understand. I thought they might be from a boy dog but it turns out they weren’t for me at all. Oh well. I still liked looking at them.

I will agree that the mess was large and that at first blush this would appear to be the doings of a curious border collie. YES, the clothes hamper was flipped over with all items thoroughly inspected. YES, there was a bag of treats in a remote corner of the kitchen counter that found their way to the floor and were subsequently eaten. YES, the bathroom and office trash cans were emptied. I’m not going to sit here and pretend those things didn’t happen. And while I don’t agree with it, I do get the finger pointing directly in my sweet innocent perky eared face.

HOWEVER, think back for a moment if you will. Think back to a time when you were left at home with, say, a sibling. A sibling that was less than perfect. One that might destroy a potted plant and shift the blame to you. One that might drink the last swig of milk and leave an empty milk glass in your room. I’m quite certain you can conjure up a memory that left you assumed guilty for an action you did not commit. Think of helplessness you felt when all eyes were fixed at you and you knew you were not responsible! Or at least not solely responsible.

As I am a border collie that would not feel right in selling out another four legged friend, I would simply suggest that there were indeed 8 legs present on this evening. At times legs tangle and you can hardly tell a brown leg from a speckled one! Likewise it’s often difficult to separate the actions or intentions of one wagging tail from another! Sometimes things can get so confused and mixed up before you know it there’s a brown dog donkey-kicking a hamper over and before you realize it you’ve got a shirt halfway across the floor because you simply want to smell your wonderful owner. I’m not here to say who’s right or wrong in this situation.

Let us not forget the things your siblings got you caught up in that you never meant to be involved in. Their words and peer pressure convincing you to do things you wouldn’t normally do on your own. Is it a coincidence that Charlotte and instigator both contain the letters a & t? Who am I to say for I am simply a silly dog with a blog. I would merely suggest, however, that without full details of what occurred on this night, it’s impossible to confidently point a finger at anybody! With this in mind, I would motion for treats for all!!!

Oh but you need more treats. The brown one jumped up on the counter and ate them all.

-razz

I’m an official dog of Arlington County. Let the fun begin.

David made some big deal about having fluff covering the bedroom and blah blah blah…some other stuff I can’t recall because I stopped listening. I decided to put the monkey back together again. It’s perfectly fine now. I don’t know what the big deal was to begin with. Also, it should be noted I did not receive the treat I deserved for doing this.

razz

Look at this mess. I can barely find a place to rest my sweet little head! Fluff everywhere. Monkey remains in every direction. David keeps asking me “if I happened to catch a glimpse of the tornado that came through last night.” His tone drips with sarcasm. Right. As if I had anything to do with this. He better clean this up before I need to sleep in here this evening.

razz

Razz has decided she does not want to walk in the rain any longer. She was not amused to bound out the door for a walk and be greeted by heavy rain.

Last night Razz decided she had not gotten enough attention…or maybe it was Cheerios. Either way she was quite chatty.