I will agree that the mess was large and that at first blush this would appear to be the doings of a curious border collie. YES, the clothes hamper was flipped over with all items thoroughly inspected. YES, there was a bag of treats in a remote corner of the kitchen counter that found their way to the floor and were subsequently eaten. YES, the bathroom and office trash cans were emptied. I’m not going to sit here and pretend those things didn’t happen. And while I don’t agree with it, I do get the finger pointing directly in my sweet innocent perky eared face.
HOWEVER, think back for a moment if you will. Think back to a time when you were left at home with, say, a sibling. A sibling that was less than perfect. One that might destroy a potted plant and shift the blame to you. One that might drink the last swig of milk and leave an empty milk glass in your room. I’m quite certain you can conjure up a memory that left you assumed guilty for an action you did not commit. Think of helplessness you felt when all eyes were fixed at you and you knew you were not responsible! Or at least not solely responsible.
As I am a border collie that would not feel right in selling out another four legged friend, I would simply suggest that there were indeed 8 legs present on this evening. At times legs tangle and you can hardly tell a brown leg from a speckled one! Likewise it’s often difficult to separate the actions or intentions of one wagging tail from another! Sometimes things can get so confused and mixed up before you know it there’s a brown dog donkey-kicking a hamper over and before you realize it you’ve got a shirt halfway across the floor because you simply want to smell your wonderful owner. I’m not here to say who’s right or wrong in this situation.
Let us not forget the things your siblings got you caught up in that you never meant to be involved in. Their words and peer pressure convincing you to do things you wouldn’t normally do on your own. Is it a coincidence that Charlotte and instigator both contain the letters a & t? Who am I to say for I am simply a silly dog with a blog. I would merely suggest, however, that without full details of what occurred on this night, it’s impossible to confidently point a finger at anybody! With this in mind, I would motion for treats for all!!!
Oh but you need more treats. The brown one jumped up on the counter and ate them all.
David made some big deal about having fluff covering the bedroom and blah blah blah…some other stuff I can’t recall because I stopped listening. I decided to put the monkey back together again. It’s perfectly fine now. I don’t know what the big deal was to begin with. Also, it should be noted I did not receive the treat I deserved for doing this.
Look at this mess. I can barely find a place to rest my sweet little head! Fluff everywhere. Monkey remains in every direction. David keeps asking me “if I happened to catch a glimpse of the tornado that came through last night.” His tone drips with sarcasm. Right. As if I had anything to do with this. He better clean this up before I need to sleep in here this evening.
David has been giving me a Kong daily stuffed with treats and some over-priced treat filler. Yesterday the filler ran out so he decided to use peanut butter instead. He decided it was a fraction of the cost and every bit as good.
Guess what. It’s not. I’m not eating it. And I’m not happy about it. I don’t care how much this “Kong Stuff’n Liver Paste” is…I demand it. Peanut Butter. Pah-lease.
This morning I was happy to find the outside void of the monsoon type weather we’ve had in the last few days. I was actually up for my normal morning Shirlington walk. David’s been teaching me to sit before crossing the street. I’ve gotten pretty good at this! Sometimes I still forget or at least pretend to…but so far so good. Check out my video!
Yesterday I was taken out to the car which I immediately didn’t like. I actually don’t like cars in general. I’ve been drooling at uncontrollable rates to try and dissuade David from putting me in one, but thus far no such luck. Just the other day I managed to get slobber on the passenger seat, driver’s seat, steering wheel, arm rest, dashboard, two windows and the windshield…yet he persists with these rides. Sometimes he’ll stop for a minute for who knows what. He’ll say, “Wait here. Be good.” Silly. Within about 7 seconds of him walking away I always jump right into the drivers side seat and begin applying the slobber. I’m trying to get a nice even coat around the entire wheel, but he never seems to be gone long enough to allow for a full application.
However, this car trip wasn’t as bad as the one yesterday. Instead of going to the vet, David took me to a wonderful place called Wylie Wagg. I knew right away it was a nice place because he let me come inside! There were all sorts of bowls, toys, treats and food in every direction. David’s been looking all over to get me a collar that’s raspberry color. They had about a hundred collars here and about 75 of which I would have been happy with…but noooo, he insists on raspberry. I’m like, “who cares, it’s a collar?” Sometimes he doesn’t make any sense.
Anyhow, Wylie Wagg had the nicest staff who gave me lots of attention and treats. I upped my sweetness quotient and actually suckered them into giving me TWO treats. If that wasn’t enough, I also got David to buy me this fancy ice cream cone treat.
He did get the last laugh though. Apparently the ice cream treat was purchased to give me after I suffered through another bath. That wasn’t exactly conveyed during the purchase. I’ve got a video of me actually post bath - but that’s for another day. For now here’s a little video of my trip to Wylie Wagg!
Yesterday I went outside and was disappointed to find pouring rain. Today I went outside and was disappointed to be taken straight to the vet. What is this, I’m a border collie! I got put into a car at 7am and dropped off at this scary place. Sure, it seemed great at first because I got to greet many people and charm them with my remarkable sitting skills. I also got to sniff around a curious box with a meowing sound. That’s when things turned from good to bad.
Suddenly I was asked to stand on this strange silver platform. If there’s one thing Veruca Salt has taught me, it’s not to just jump up and sit on a scale. So I did what any rational dog would do - I made my body go limp and forced David to awkwardly lift me onto the scale. The lady behind the counter announced “39.5″ which I assume means I’m a good egg - because the bottom didn’t open up and drop me into a pit. I proudly walked off the tester head high glowing with pride. “Good luck with that one,” I scoffed at the meow box.
A woman in a blue shirt came over with the false pretense of congratulating me on my score. Excited I wagged my tail and pushed my head against her. She took my leash from David and began to walk me to what I assumed was the trophy room. I pranced along with her until we got to the entrance and began to hear barking dogs from every direction. I turned around and David was waving when I realized this was no trophy room…
APPARENTLY for passing the egg test you get put into a kennel for 6 hours and given all kinds of shots and tests. Weird people come in and put their hands in places they shouldn’t be - I’m pretty sure I have a lawsuit. It’s a little groggy, but I do remember something about a microchip being put in me. Oh and my long nails are suddenly shorter. What I do remember specifically was them taking me out around 3pm for what I believed to be another test - and instead seeing David ready to take me! I got so excited I peed all over the floor. Oh well, that’s what they get!
A delicious squirrel cookie
The good news is when we got home David gave me a delicious squirrel cookie. I don’t believe it is as good as the squirrel I will eventually catch, but it was pretty tasty nonetheless.
I like squirrel tail the most
I’m so sick of squirrels waving their bushy tails in my face I decided to eat it first. Of course, it turned out to be the best part of this little treat.
Ok I’m tired from a long day of vets and cookies. I’m off to sleep in a dog bed I’ve recently taken over from the brown one.
